My name is Lena Lake, and I’m living on my Father’s couch. The sad thing is that I mean that in the literal sense since my bedroom is being remodeled.
I don’t have a job and spend every day watching a riveting line-up of talk shows. My choice of snack is carrots and ranch dressing, since my meddling stepmother is on a crusade against MSG.
Not to worry, I have contraband hidden in my stepbrother Nick’s closet. He’s away at college and won’t be using his real estate any time soon. Some of you are probably thinking that I’m a loser with no self-respect. What kind of twenty-four year old sits on the couch and does absolutely nothing? Well, I’ll tell you. The kind that’s being hunted.
In order for you to understand why, I’ll have to start from the beginning.